1.4. You’re in the Army now

I thought it may be a thief, or worse…

And I didn’t remember where Josh put his gun. So… I got my best option.

That was the moment when I thought I was a bit overreacting. But it was already too late… Things were in motion. A particular thing in my hands exactly. Even if I’d want to stop it, I couldn’t.

Mystery trespasser: “Fuck!”

Radio transmitter: “Bravo team, man down, man down, Big Mama, we have man down.”

“Well, lady… a good hit” Said a man who jumps like right from under ground and taking off this strange device which they wore on heads. Whatever it was, it made them looking like ant-like black aliens or something.

“Er…” I felt embarrassed. More even with his presence than a whole mess around. It was… well… it was strange feeling. A way he looked at me. A way I felt when he did that. I’ve never felt that before.

“Johnson, you useless idiot” He ignored me for a brief moment addressing this man laying on the ground “You’re supposed to be invisible, you understand? In-vi-si-ble, you moron”.

“He can’t hear you sir, I think it’s a concussion” One of the soldiers checked this guy, I’ve heard laugh in his voice, almost clear however suppressed.

“When I kick his sorry ass, he will hear me, son” A “sir” shrugged. “Get this asshole out of my sight”

He then started to talk to the other troopers by the radio “And you ladies, what you’re waiting for? And who the fuck allowed you to leave your posts!?” I really had no idea how he could be able to actually see if anyone was on “his post” or not. Probably he just assumed that. You know, like when you step on banana a whole office rally to see how you’re grabbing your sorry ass from the ground.

“I’m sorry… ” I started when I saw a chance “I didn’t mean to…” I thought I should… I didn’t now what I should.

“Shoot him?” the “sir” looked at me “What’s a shame, I would be free from his sorry company, this moron ruined the whole night.” He took his transmitter and started to talk to it again “Alpha what’s your status?”

Transmitter: “We’re on position sir”

For me it sounds like: “we’re dying from laugh”

“Idiots” the “sir” gasped when medics put my victim on the stretcher and took him to the base.

“It would be better if you go inside missy…” He said to me and looked on the door “…Lambert” He read a name on the doors.

“Fox” I corrected. “We’re not married yet”. I spoke without a thought. And that particular sentence made me feeling strange even more.

“I see, so I have a chance?” He grinned. And I felt a fire on my cheeks. I don’t know why. So good it was dark. While attempting my sudden strike on this poor soldier I obviously did not turn lights on.

I blinked.

“Or, on the other hand… I don’t know if I’m courageous enough” He stared at the bat which I still carried.

“Ouh” I looked at it too “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s his fault. And he is a lucky one. His vest wouldn’t stop a shotgun from this distance” He grinned again “Seems we don’t need a guard so much while we have such vigilant woman around”

“Maybe I go inside” I covered myself. Feeling in one moment fire on cheeks and cold elsewhere wasn’t the best feeling at all.

“Good idea” He bade farewells to me “And…”

I stopped by the doors.

“Next time just shout, OK? We don’t want more casualties” He was truly amused.

---

That was Thursday. A second week while we were deprived of our beloved ones. And while it was somewhat hard, especially for Milena, it also was a kind of advantage. Since I got here, and it was only a few days, I have no chance to really familiarize myself with the surroundings. And if Josh would be here with me… I’d probably be always by his side, all time he wouldn’t be in the base. Just like little child stuck to his mother’s skirt. Ok. Something else than skirt. And I’m not mentioning his dick.

Beside I already mentioned that.

We talked a lot. We mostly… talked a lot. And you probably heard all these idiotic superstition about women lacking of men thus hooking with everyone or just babbling about sex over and over. No. We were adult, responsible and mature women, not overloaded by immature emotions and hormone secretions teen-girls. We did not talk ’bout sex.

“You know – it’s all about hormones and pheromones, you just smell it.” Laurel looked a bit dreaming and it wasn’t as I thought only a beautiful environment – I never could say if she was joking or serious “All these 250 dicks in barracks, hungry poor little ones… so hungry, so lonely…”

“They’re big boys, they can carry it on, baby” Elsbeth shrugged

“And that’s the point. You smell it too” She explained a bit closer her point of view

“Laurel. I’m eating…” And Helen wasn’t overjoyed by that.

“And we have not enough beer to start such kind of conversation, girl”.

The topic was a lack.

And we take such kind of conversation partly because of some Monday’s very early morning.

(A noise from beside a window): “You ladies are, and I’m absolutely sure about this, completely brainless worms. You are disgrace for my Army and my beloved Corps. And that it’s what I’m, I repeat: I-sergeant-Lynch couldn’t allow to be. I repeat this, and I shall repeat this more, because there is a big empty space in the place where your brains should be.”

That was before six. A 0535 as they used to call time there.

(noise continues): “And this empty space is a danger, a danger which must be contained. Because I won’t allow to something happen to my Corp. Do you understand me?”

(collective noise): “Sir. Yes sir!”

(Sargeant Lynch noising more): “And now you’re lying because without brain which you left somewhere, you are unable to understand even simplest things worms. How could you lie to me. How you could do such dishonest thing for your sergeant, for a man who should shoot you now instead insists there’s hope for you? How you could do such things for a man of such great heart for the brainless morons. That means: you. Robertsen, tell me.”

(other loud voice): “Sir. No excuse, sir!”

(Lynch again): “Good. Seems even in this void between your ears Robertsen there’s something useful. Give me fifty squad. A nice fifty on the morning!”

I got up the bed. That had no sense pretending I’d be able to got some sleep. Anyway, I should get up soon. That would be my first day at the work. I shouldn’t be late.

But, just when I ended my first coffee and they ended theirs “fifty”…

something tempted me to go outside home. Maybe I wanted just know why someone started one of this nonsense-drills full of humiliation, curses and analyses of someones’ mother honesty and daddy impotency just right under my window.

And this man, who ruled this ridiculous show immediately noticed it.

“You see? You dishonest rams, you woke up the lady. You not just pissed me off, but you also ruined well earned rest this lovely young woman. Am I right miss Fox?”

I flinched when he addressed me directly.

“Emm.. Right Sargeant, You woke me…”

“And for that morons, another fifty” He screamed. He was very, I mean: very, contended.

“Ehm” I tried to catch his attention.

“Yes, miss Fox, you want to add something?” He turn to me just a bit.

“Yes, Sargeant. If I could have a word with you…”

“And this is a difference jerks” He started his monologue again “Because I sergeant Lynch behave well, because I sergeant Lynch know how to behave, I’m privileged to have a civilised and cultural conversation with this lovely young lady, while you shall start your another fifty talking to the ground, do you grateful?”

(soldiers) “Sir, we-re-gra-te-ful, sir!”

“So, what’s on your mind miss Fox” He grinned to me finally finding some attention for my person.

“It’s about the noise…” I started.

“Noise? Someone dares to make noise in your presence miss Fox?” He grinned ever grinnier.

Probably I started from wrong place and topic. But instead to trying be witty and outsmart this man I just went straight to the point.

“You, Sargeant. Your screams woke me up. Because you screamed right before my windows”

“That’s really rude I think, from my side” He agreed in suspicious way “being so loud just before your windows as you said miss Fox.”

Before I’d be able to even catch a breath he took me by the arm.

“But this is a little misunderstanding my dear miss Fox. What you probably took as a mindless, humiliating military torture conducted by a heartless, sadistic officer, is in fact, a very important lesson, a lecture of a good manners and well behavior”

“Really?” I said ironically.

“Really. And this is not exactly a mere coincidence this lecture is placed before your house miss Fox”

“Am I right worms?” He screamed at them.

“Sir, yes sir!”

“So now, you put together your sorry asses and start to show our guest how well you’re able to crawl”

I gasped.

“So” He gently addressed me, the voice tone difference was almost shocking “As I said, it is not a mere coincidence.” He grinned again.

“Because of?” I looked for a troopers and their impressive crawl just on the street.

“Because, when I found on theirs precious targeting devices your pictures, such ones which shamelessly reveals all your advantages…”

“What!?”“Exactly” He grinned again “That was exactly what I’ve thought.”

I was stunned.

“But, how it’s even possible…” I had to have a very intelligent face, a kind of which seems to be very mine lately.

“Well” He was very careful and compassionate to me suddenly, according to his tone “These rude boys are scouts, and our beloved Army provided them with sophisticated machinery, maybe not without Lieutenant Lambert’s effort, which effort outcomes he wouldn’t be pleased, I dare to suppose. Such kind of machinery which allows them to precisely target our fire missions both artillery and air strike missions, also finding missing persons death or alive even thirty feet under ground. And…” He grinned again “…also took a great pictures from a significant distance”.

I felt how my cheeks started to burn.

“A very good quality ones, I’d say” He tormented me a bit more.

He turned to the troopers suddenly.

“Good morons. Now another round. Only one part of this street is clean. I want this street clean entirely!”

I flinched when he screamed just at my ear.

“Let me explain something, miss Fox” He made a very nice smile to me “We have there two hundred and fifty-four young, healthy and mostly bored to death men. And you know what is most dangerous thing in this lovely world?” He stared at me for a moment and before I’ve had a chance to gasp he continued “It’s a young, skilled and bored man with a loaded gun and unloaded dick. And there’s even more dangerous thing: it’s a squad of such boys.”

I took a deep breath.

“We’ve never had any case of any kind of assault for any women here, civilian or enlisted, regardless. And we’ll never have. Because we are very concerned at the matter of good behavior of our boys. And when they are behave not enough well, we make sure that would never happen again. And because this accident about your pictures, a very detailed and good quality ones, which I mentioned before…”

“About, yes, these pictures… ” I interrupted probably red as an apple “Where they are?”

“I’m afraid miss Fox, with great regret I have to say, personally, I had to erase them completely. What broke my heart. Because they’re really good ones.”

“You’re mocking me, Sargeant” I frowned.

“A bit, indeed” He grinned again. “Now, miss Fox, you want to shoot some of them personally, or we can continue?”

“Carry on, Sargeant” I said still feeling my burning cheeks.

“With pleasure” He salute me with a slight bow, I though this insane situation had to amuse him greatly.

---

Before I reached my doors I saw Elsbeth waving at me. She invited me for a breakfast. In fact – she invited also Milena and Laurel.

“Don’t get too much comfortable, I just don’t want another fire in the camp.”

“You know, that was an accident.” Milena sighted.

“There’s always an accident whenever you enter the kitchen” Elsbeth shrugged.

“So you are their last masturbation sessions topic?” Laurel addressed to me from above the pancake.

“Envy, you’re not on the top anymore?” Elsbeth point her with a fork.

“I don’t blame them” she shrugged in answer.

“Do we have to have such conversation… now?” I opposed a bit.

“We all went through this, baby” Elsbeth smiled to me “And we all repeat this wonderful experience every seven months, when they changes in the base.”

“Don’t take this personally” Milena added from her side “They’re bored to death. And the only women they see are we, because troopers are not allowed to leave the base.”

“Poor guys are supposed to be our security forces, you know – in case of alien attack or something” Laurel rummaged in hers pancakes like there would be some treasure hidden or just she looked for a poison according to her face.

“They have literally nothing to do. Except drill and training, but they’re ordinary troopers not a specops or paratroopers or so. There’s really nothing interesting in such service. Most of them enlisted just by the way to the college.”

“Anyway – think about it – most women in the world would be surely happy if more than hundred boys spends hours on worrying theirs cocks while dreaming ’bout them” Laurel stopped her pancake investigations and looked at me.

“One thing what spoils fun is they do this only because we’re just only women they see, and because they’re bored…” Milena said from hers side.

“You’ve say about two things, and the only means one thing” Elsbeth said ironically

“So, we now discuss grammar?” Laurel yawned.

As I said it wasn’t all about a sex.

---

More important – I’ve started a job that day. Finally. I thought this “free adjustment time” just blow my head completely. And I wanted be on time badly. So – obviously – I was late. I comforted myself, while I wasn’t so important person in Matkoosee Elementary, nobody really notice a mere assistant being late a bit.

I know, that “assistant uniform” they put me into wasn’t the last fashionable piece of clothes in this world. But… well, it was comforting somewhat, modest, simple (forget this ridiculous college tie) and quite comfortable. Anyway – I wasn’t noticed as late, indeed. Mostly because I wasn’t noticed at all. The school manager was really surprised I show up “so early”. So I spend the whole workday on doing nothing. They even didn’t allow me to introduce to the kids. Because paperwork first.

A well-earned payday. One could say – I’ve become a professional playground specialist.

And then was that night when I hurt this trooper. They had theirs night training or something. And this guy.

I mean: this guy.

Was one of the few black ops or something specialists. Or whatever they calls it. In a strange way his face which I saw barely in darkness didn’t want to leave my minds.

And I think it was because this tank accident, I overheard something about “pond landing” when I’ve been returning from my first day in the school. That was a “test ride” and driver somewhat sucks.

However I only saw a bit of traffic near Labs.

I thought there was a little “parking-space” problem.

Anyway – cantina started to serve fishes. In numbers. And my nerves were somewhat strained. So… I felt a little justified.

But, despite of every difficulties I really started to adjust a little.

To Mondays with drills, Tuesdays with air attacks. They told me they’re “unloading cargo”. From my place it sounded like they throw it just right from the orbit. And I cannot help, but no matter how many times I heard landing “Cow” it always sounded for me like real crashing not landing. But I learned properly compacted cotton is good for earplugs. I’ve made a progress!

Also I started to getting use to these Wednesdays when they dismantled tanks by whole day and extends my curse vocabulary at alarming rate, just to put ’em together in Thursdays. All for keeping troops busy. And also to Fridays when they had theirs shooting practice. Mostly only with small arms. Earplugs practice again.

And even to the “official meetings of the Ladies Club”.

The Ladies Club, which I obviously not belonged yet, but still I was expected to be introduced into.

“Dear ladies, welcome, welcome, sit down please. We need to welcome our new companion, Miss Fox” Ms. Hammond, no one else but general’s Hammond wife, pointed me with this terrible, nice, Simwood-like smile. That one which shows you how inflation increases dentists costs lately, and no matter what you do – you will never be able to afford it.

“We’re very happy with such nice, young lady as an addition to our ladies club”

“Say nothing” Elsbeth hinted me

So I just wore my best innocent-imbecile smile.

“She’s not a complete idiot” Elsbeth continued quietly “She is just too good in pretending that”.

“I’m personally very happy to welcome you my dear child” Ms. Hammond was really happy I stood silent, I nodded to Elsbeth as a thanks for advice “And I’m sure you familiarize with our customs and duties with no time.”

She flipped some papers.

“And now, my dear ladies. Point of our meeting today. We, as a women, as a wives and as mothers, are responsible to keep this place in order.”

Elsbeth mumbled something in unrecognizable way. Laurel looked as she was sleeping already. And I though Milena was sleeping in fact.

“That leads us to one particular topic: we need to improve quality of our gardens”.

“We have gardens?” Helen was a bit surprised, but probably a bit too loud. Ms. Hammond has not only the best and most expensive dentists, but also great otolaryngologist. Or just ears as a hawk.

“Exactly Ms. Blau. We have no gardens!” She seemed to be really excited. Just like kid right before hitting this red button inscribed with “BOOM!”.

“And that must change immediately” She ruled hers females’ corp like a natural. “I already prepared necessary regulations…”

“Fuck!” Milena woke up on the sound of the word “regulations”.

And the Ms. general-wife was unpleasant hearing that. Badly.

For the Milena’s sake our Marshall’s attention was almost immediately turned to the other side.

“How nice Ms. Olsen could find a little moment to visit us. First time from a three months. And late” Ms. Hammond looked on entering Sarah as a lion on the lamb.

“I’m sorry Ms. Hammond” Sarah seems to not noticing this hunting gaze at all “One of my patients already has cervix dilation at three-point-five, I dared to assume that cannot wait” She answered with a bit of smile while putting herself on nearby bench.

For the moment Ms. Hammond looked like someone with problem of oxygen support.

“I didn’t suspect she is an obstetrician doctor” I looked at the Elsbeth a bit surprised.

“She’s not. Or rather, she’s not exactly, or only. It’s.. complicated” She answered with somewhat enigmatic smile matching her enigmatic explanation.

But Ms. Hammond wasn’t a woman who easily lose hers point, she wasn’t the one who gave up lightly.

“Returning to our meeting, I already prepared necessary documents, plans, and…”

She gave us orders about precise planting of flowers and carrots, not mentioning regular watering in proper order… And describing this order took her two hours. A very committed woman. And such one which finds a great pleasure with greatly detailed explanations. Scientific adjustments to exact places for a roses. Strictly composed with discretion of divisional insignia. Daisies and other minors placement which has to be in order too. And while this whole lecture I still had this man face before me… Every time I closed my eyes. So I tried not to close them.

I looked on the faces of other girls with mixture of fear and expectation. Does they blow up? Shoot this women? Just… listen?

Most of them simple got nap.

We were provided with manuals and regulations. And documents which we had to sign. An official obligation to “garden duty”. So much fun…

After these two weeks I thought nothing could surprise me anymore. I felt like a vet.